Monday, May 25, 2009

Beer Attitude!


Attitude!!

Beer ke diwaano ke liye khaas....

baaki log attitude ke hi maje lo :P

After an international beer conference in London , all the world's top brewery bosses decide to go out for a beer together.

The Chairman of Budweiser says, 'I'd like the most refreshing beer in the world, 'The King of Beers': give me a Budweiser.'

The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and opens it for him.

The Chairman of Guinness says, 'I'd like the only beer in the world worth really, truly waiting for: give me a Guinness.'

The bartender serves him.

The Chairman of Carlsberg says, ' I would like the world's best beer, drunk in more countries than any other: give me a Carlsberg.'

He gets it.

Vijay Mallya sits down, looks around and says, 'Just give me a Coke.'

The bartender looks at him, shrugs, and serves him.

The other brewery bosses laugh loudly and say, 'Hey Vijay, how come you aren't drinking a Kingfisher?'

'Listen,' says Vijay Mallya, 'If you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I

This is Attitude!!!!!


Sunday, May 24, 2009

Some beautiful stories floating on mails

Materialistic World!
While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using an iron wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due tomultiple fractures. When the child saw his father.... with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back? Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions...... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide.... Anger and Love have NO LIMIT - choose the latter to have a beautiful & lovely life.... THINGS are meant to be USED and PEOPLE are to be LOVED,...but the problem of today's world is that...

People are used & Things are loved!!!

One can change if ONE wants to

 

It’s a question of an hour!

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. 
SON:   "Daddy, may I ask you a question?" 
DAD:   "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.
SON:   "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?" 
DAD:   "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
SON:    "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" 
DAD:    "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour." 
SON:     "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down. 
SON:   "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"
 

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior." 
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. 

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? 

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. 
"Are you asleep, son?" He asked. 
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy. 
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man. 
"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for." 
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled. 
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. 

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you." 
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

 

BIT OF PHYSICS HUMOUR 

Sir Ernest Rutherford, President of the Royal Academy, and recipient of the Nobel Prize in Physics, related the following story:

"Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected.

I read the examination question: "Show how it is possible to determine the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer."

The student had answered: "Take the barometer to the top of the building,attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building."

The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really answered the question completely and correctly! On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics course and certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try. I gave the student six minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics.

At the end of five minutes, he hadn't written anything. I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him and asked him to please go on. In the next minute, he dashed off his answer, which read:

"Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch.

Then, using the formula x=0.5*a*t^2, calculate the height of the building."

At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit. While leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.

"Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building."

"Fine," I said, "and others?"

"Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and his will give you the height of the building in barometer units."

"A very direct method."

"Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of g [gravity] at the street level and at the top of the building.

From the difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in principle, can be calculated."

"On this same tack, you could take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by the period of the precession".

"Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem."

"Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows: 'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this barometer."

At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach him how to think.

The name of the student was. -------------- Neils Bohr - The Nobel Prize in Physics 1922

 

Lateral Thinking

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!" 

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?" 

Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His 
search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…" 

The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?" 

Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?" 

The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?" 

Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!" 

The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice. 

In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag." 

"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect. Don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."

 SMART LADY

I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I noticed an old lady following me around.  Thinking nothing of it, I ignored her and continued on. Finally I went to the checkout line, but she got in front of me..

 "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look like my son, who just died recently."

 "I'm very sorry," I said to her, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

 "Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mom?' It would make me feel so much better."

 "Sure," I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it.

 As the old woman was leaving, I called out, "Good Bye, Mom!"

 As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $1027.50.

 "How can that be?" I asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

 "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk. :)

 

Soul Touching Poem
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right..
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight..

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A Journey of millions miles.

It was 5 minutes past 8 when I finally found the bus to Meerut. I grabbed one of the seats as it was flooded with anthropoids. I don’t want to enjoy a more than an hour journey standing and holding two big bags. Fortunately, I got window seat. At around 8:10, bus started to leave the stand. The cool breeze was blowing. I was looking at the hopeless traffic of Ghaziabad. Suddenly, one thought came to my mind – Finally, I have to bid farewell to IMT-Ghaziabad. A long tour of glorious 21 months has come to a halt. Everything started replaying in my mind. I can recall all my memorable moments from the first day to the last day of IMT. I closed my eyes and started remembering all the events at IMT.
The first day at IMT – 24th June 2007
I landed at around 3 pm in hot chilling day at Ghaziabad station and hire an auto for IMT. I asked the guard for the registration process and he told me to go to room no. D-9. It took more than 15 minutes to reach D-9 and my shirt was all wet because of perspiration. Raman Sir allotted me my room J-105. My room was on third floor. Till I reach my room I was totally exhausted. I met with my roommate Piyush Jain and his friend Vinay. I took a bath and then went to meet Anjani. Anjani was the only friend I know because she was my classmate during engineering. There was a guard in front of her lobby and he did not allow me to enter that lobby. Unfortunately my phone was not working so I could not call her. I thought for an alternative and I decided to arrange my room. The scene was set for an aura of exhilaration.

Conductor woke me and asked for ticket. I gave him 25 rupees and he gave me the ticket to Meerut. I put it in my pocket and again closed my eyes.
The Culture Shock
The orientation program begins at 7 A. M. with Yoga and if you are late by few minutes then you have to do three rounds of the ground. That was cruel but reality. I thought “Is IMT stands for Indian Military Training?” Classes were like sleeping pills that you cannot enjoy (because you can’t sleep). PDP was the late night attraction and euphemism for ragging. It was not enjoyable for me because it was a culture shock. Singing and Dancing was not a problem even proposing but ad-making pestered me. Arguments with a senior (worthless to mention name) or ring-a-ring roses around Sajja (he was nice person) were enjoyable. I also enjoyed the dance of two persons – Shuchi and Sucharit. One day I was told to sing a bhakti geet – Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram, other day I was asked to run around the ground shouting “Main Yahan Padne aaya hoon”. The best moment was with Sheeza when I request her to exchange information of each other and she did it. The most exciting day of orientation was outbound day. When you hold a dame in your hand and feel like heaven then you ought to make it unforgettable. I was not good at giving presentation but the first presentation at IMT was not official. Giving a presentation in front of 100 senior, all ready to make comments, was not a caper. It was more enjoyable to sit in the audience watching jokers wearing white shirt with a tag of ‘KELA’ and holding a banana in hand. Optimal utilization of words was not visible in the scene.

Bus stopped for two minutes at Muradabad. I took a sip from water bottle. I remember the day when I told one senior that I cannot stay in IMT because of the culture differences. Senior told not to get disheartened. He encouraged me to stay in IMT. I thank him. Bus was slowly passing the city. Bus was taking me forward but my heart was left behind.
My first crush at IMT
After orientation, suddenly life came to stop. We were free for most of the time. I got some good friends. I always believe friendship is the most important relationship a person builds in his life. Sucharit and Piyush were already hailed as friends. No sooner had the classes started, then Sahil, Rahul, Bhasin and KP joined the group. Our meeting place of I-5.
I, with my group members, was sitting near library to discuss on a project. I saw a lady coming in a red top with a beautiful smile. I always cherish that smile. This was my first crush at IMT. I always blame myself for choosing the wrong option. I got very good GPA in the first term and also became the member of club MarkUp. It become the platform for making more friends. Ashukant, Sid, Akanksha were making my life better at IMT. Fortunately, Shuchi joined MarkUp and we together went for pitching to Kavi Nagar.

My heart was feeling very sad. I opened my eyes and looked towards sky. I thought of God and said in the mind “Khel khelta hai tu and chot lagti hai humain”.
My Biggest Achievement
Sahil already became my good friend but he left for France in third term. Then I came close to Sudhanshu, Sudeep and Pavan. Some more friends were added to my friends list like Ashwini, Saurabh and Sankshep. Pavan and I had a great fun during summers. We used to play badminton daily. I learnt badminton during two months.
MarkUp was dominant in the second year. We started with a big bang and ended in a styel. It was MarkUp through out second year. We ruined all efforts of competitors through new and innovative events. The time we spent in the SAC room for preparation was fun. We organized various events but the most successful was Marketing World Cup. We had more than 107 registration and we had to close the registration before deadline. It was a huge success in IMT and it was my greatest achievement.

A drop of tears came in my eyes for this achievement. I took out a hanky from my pocket and pressed against eyes.
The Turning Point
Sahil invited us for his sister wedding. I along with Shuchi, Bhasin, Rahul, KP and Shweta attended the wedding. We also went Vaishnov Devi during November. I remember the 6 hours of waiting at some station, astronomical amount of bills and chatting at Bhairav Baba Mandir. Sahil, Shuchi and I became very good friends. We spend most of the time together. I spent my most memorable moments with Sahil and Shchi. We went for 4 day trip to Mathura, Vrindavan, Agra and Fatepur Sikri. It was amazing to ride on tonga, sit on rear of auto, roaming around to find a proper place for dinner etc. But we had great hotel to live in – all thanks to Ashish Bahiya (Sahil’s Brother).

Now my eyes were flooding with water. I again drank some water and wipe my tears.
I, along with Pavan, sucharit, sudeep, sankshep, saurabh and shahan, formed a group called “We Will Rock” to prepare for the placement. It helped me a lot. I thank all the members. After exams we all went for Hrishkesh trip. Sahil, shuchi and shweta also accompanied us. The camp was great and we enjoyed thoroughly.
Finally the convocation arrived. I was very happy because my mom and dad were with me. I along with my friends spent whole night in clicking photographs of the campus.
The next two days were reserved for Dili Darshan. We three along with Sahil’s cousin Ankur went to see lot of places in Delhi. We saw Jantar-Mantar, AksharDham, Raj Ghat, Banagla Saheb Gurudwara etc. The second day was reserved for Chandani Chowk. We went there to sell off our old books. We had our lunch at Paratha wali Gali. We almost ate 15 parathas all different. We also drank a huge glass of lassi. After coming back to college, we packed our bags. It took us more than 2 hrs to pack our luggage. Rahul and Shuchi came to see off me and Sahil. Suddenly Shuchi started crying and Sahil tried to placate her. I realized for the first time that I am leaving this place forever. I won’t be able to meet all my friends in the same manner and enthusiasm as I did it while stay at IMT. Sahil and I hire a auto to bus stand. I have to board the bus to Meerut and Sahil was going to Dilshad Garden. We hugged each other and bid farewell. We exchanged wishes and I took the path to bus stand.

I also reached Meerut bus stand. My eyes were filled with water as I deboarded the bus. I travelled a journey of millions miles in just one hour thirty minute. May this journey never end!